The Science of Football
My football learning curve has been somewhat long and protracted. My knowledge of the game has developed to the point that now, after five years of marriage, I can watch several games a weekend and comprehend the general sentiment of what is going on. Heck, I even cry at the end of nail-biters. This is a big change from where I began, which was often hoping that a natural disaster would occur, wiping out the electricity.
However, this afternoon, while watching the Longhorns play Oklahoma, I realized that not only is football a bastion of American culture and comraderie, it is also a bellwether for controversial and progressive scientific advancements. As the camera panned the crowd and settled on the Texas cheerleaders, I realized with amazement that the University of Texas has exquisitely perfected human cloning: 15 young women, the same height, same color, same teeth, same eyes, same voice, performing in synchronized perfection. This is wise on Texas’ part; to subtly introduce their advancements to our culture, especially in the form of endearing cheerleaders. You will make us love your product before we shut you down for ethical violations. Who wants to begrudge the world squadrons of genetically-engineered perky perfection?
However, it does make me wonder…what other subversive activities are occuring under the auspices of college football?
-l
